Archive for March, 2009

Where’s My Enthusiasm?

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

Enthusiasm makes the difference!

How many times have you heard that? And how many times have you thought to yourself, “yeah right! That’s fine when everything’s going right. How can I be enthusiastic with all the problems I have to face?”

Nowadays more and more people seem dissatisfied with their lives despite having the highest living standards since records began. They’re disillusioned with their jobs and re-evaluating what they really want from life. People are leaving high paid city jobs to seek careers which would add purpose to their lives – often at great financial expense. The enthusiasm they once possessed has disappeared.

What’s going on?

A couple of thoughts spring to mind.

(1) We expect our external circumstances to provide the passion and excitement for life we want.

Enthusiasm is one of the most important, basic elements in successful living. We look for it in great jobs, beautiful homes, exciting relationships. We think ‘when I get that next promotion I’ll be enthusiastic about my future again’. But is that what happens? Of course not! It just puts us on that never-ending treadmill of wanting to acquire more and more things in that elusive hope of finding happiness.

When happiness doesn’t happen we become cynical, frustrated and very unenthusiastic about life.

But how can we be enthusiastic when we’re lacking enthusiasm? We need to look for the answer inside ourselves.

Practice the “as if” principle. It’s a very powerful methodology working at the subconscious level. Since our subconscious doesn’t differentiate between fact and fiction, if we act enthusiastically on a regular basis, the more we will become what we are acting.

Of course this takes some discipline and determination but isn’t it worth the effort? Think enthusiasm, act out enthusiasm, talk enthusiasm and you will become enthusiastic.

Enthusiasm brings out your potential. People are drawn to you, you feel alive and passionate. In this frame of mind positive experiences are magnetically attracted to you. Find your enthusiasm and all the other necessary qualities for success are activated eg. successful goal setting, persistence, determination, ability to work in a focussed, organised manner. In short, when you’re enthusiastic about anything it is so much easier and more fun to do.

(2) We have lost our sense of purpose

Abraham Maslow created the pyramid of personal fulfilment over fifty years ago and at the top of this pyramid is a sense of purpose. As I mentioned earlier, more and more people are leaving high paid jobs to go into careers like teaching and nursing because they feel they want to give something back to society and give some purpose to their existence.

If you don’t know what your life’s purpose could be, think about the following questions but do them now rather than waiting until you’re completely drained, lethargic and even depressed:

· What do you want most out of life?

· What are you good at?

· What can you contribute?

Focus on the answers to these questions and notice how you feel. Do you sense enthusiasm rising? You should do if you’ve been totally honest with yourself. These don’t have to be major, life-changing answers. Small, simple

ideas will be enough to start you on the right road.

· Eg I want to motivate people to achieve their potential

· I’m good at communicating and being supportive

· I can hold weekly team-building sessions with my staff

When you shift your focus from what you don’t have in your life, or from what’s not going according to plan, to what you already do have to be grateful for and what you can do to bring back more purpose to your life, you rekindle your enthusiasm, that treadmill disappears and you see new, exciting challenges where once there was just tedium.

For more exercises to regain your enthusiasm, try out the ones below and remember that the more enthusiasm you feel, the more you generate in your life:

‘An object at rest tends to stay at rest. An object in motion

tends to stay in motion.’

Sir Isaac Newton

Coaching Clinic – Exercise

  1. Think about hobbies/sports you loved doing and perhaps have stopped due to time, lethargy, money. Could you pick one up again or start a new one?

  1. Think back to times when you felt fully alive and passionate.

What were you doing?

Who were you with?

Where were you?

From the answers, what elements could you bring back into your own life today?

Maybe your memory is one of being a young child, completely absorbed in the make-believe story you had created. Could the lesson be to focus more on the moment at hand and less on the future or the past? To give your full attention to what you’re doing?

  1. Employ the ‘as if’ principle. Act as if you had enthusiasm and it will develop in your mind.

  1. Think of all the passionate, enthusiastic people you admire, read their biographies (if they’re famous) or spend more time with them (if they’re not!) Enthusiasm is contagious. Theirs will rub off on you.

  1. Practice being enthusiastic about simple things – a beautiful day, the smile on someone’s face, getting through your in-tray!

Enthusiasm for the simple things will add up to a general attitude of enthusiasm and this will grow and grow with continual practice.

Rather than admiring and secretly envying enthusiastic people from a distance, become one yourself!

For those of you who already are naturally enthusiastic, what’s your secret?

By Sharon Juden, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist in Berkshire

The Power of Your Mind

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

The Power of Your Mind

“If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
Rosalynn Carter
Former American First Lady

Have you ever noticed how some things are so easy and effortless to do whilst others seem, quite frankly, almost impossible?! Why is that?
Perhaps you feel you have better skills for some things than others, or perhaps you think you have more experience in some areas than others?
But then does that mean you can’t succeed at new ventures, big challenges or just leaving the comfort of your daily routine?
Of course not – BUT you can only do these things if you believe you can. It’s all a question of attitude.
We create our own reality which can be very exciting. It can also be quite a sobering thought as we think back to opportunities we gave up or risks we were too afraid to take. We didn’t believe we had the resources or strength to succeed so we didn’t even try.
Isn’t that sad?
Before any more opportunities pass you by, think back to all the successes you’ve had, all the things you’ve achieved – even small things – and recognise that you are far more resourceful and have much more inner strength than you have given yourself credit for.
With this more positive self-belief, choose something you have wanted to accomplish for a while and trust that you can and will make it happen. Then if you feel you need support and some guidance to keep you on track, have a hypnotherapy session to reinforce all the good feelings and to replace negative, limiting beliefs with powerful, positive ones that help you move forward.
You can if you think you can!

By Sharon Juden, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist in Berkshire

Beliefs and Values

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

“ Who are you? (when you’re not trying to please people or be who you think you should be)
“ What do you stand for?  (what is important to you)
“ List all the values you believe run your life and are important to you
“ List the beliefs you hold about yourself

Difference between beliefs and values.   A value is something you cherish and hold dear.  Is important to you and determines your decisions.  A belief often creates the value:
I believe hard work is the only way to make money.
Value = hard work/effort/struggle
However beliefs are not always correct, yet they still determine our decisions and our subsequent actions.

“ What beliefs and values did you learn from your parents or influential adults (good and bad)?   Belief: Eg I’m clever/I’m not as bright as my brothers and sisters
Value:  academic achievement

“ Challenge those beliefs.  Are they really true and are they really important to you?

“ Where will they lead you if you continue to hold onto them?

“ Are there any beliefs and values you want to get rid of, any that are holding you back?  (eg man in secure job wanting adventure)

“ Any you have adopted without questioning them?

“ Question them now.  Do you truly believe or value that?  Is it helping or hindering you?

Values (should) determine your priorities.  They’re the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out as you would want it to.
When you feel frustration in any area of your life, notice if a value is unmet or is being broken.  The chances are that this is the cause of the problem.

When the things you do and the way you behave match your values, your life is generally good.  The opposite is also true, so it is very important to make a conscious effort to determine what those values are and to constantly re-assess them.  As your definition of success changes, so do your values.  Always revisit them if you start to feel unbalanced.

Exercise
1. Divide your life into segments:-
(i) career/self-development  for those retired or not in a job
(ii) money/finance
(iii) relationships (personal/family)
(iv) relationships (friends)
(v) relationships (work)
(vi) health and fitness
(vii) environment  where live
(viii) any other you can think of

2. Which values do you have in each?  (obviously some will overlap with others.  Just do couple initially)
3. Are they all being met in each segment?
4. Where they are not being met, how do you feel? (eg frustrated, angry, lethargic, giving up?)
5. What needs to happen in order to get that value met again?  (list all ideas as they come to mind and choose one activity to focus on)
If you’re having difficulty determining your values in any particular area, take that area and think of three outcomes you passionately want to achieve, have, become or do.  These can be large or small, the only rule is you must feel you really want them.

a. Write those 3 outcomes at the bottom of a page in 3 separate boxes
b. Choose any of the outcomes to start with, then imagine you have already achieved this particular goal.  Time travel to that time in future when you are enjoying this fully.
Ask yourself:  ‘Now that I have this fully and completely, what does it give, or allow me to experience?  What does this allow me to do or be?’

c. Write your answer directly above your outcome.
d. Repeat the process with this new outcome, imagining you have it fully and completely.  Ask yourself the same questions.
e. Keep writing your answers above until you can’t chunk any higher.
f. Then repeat process with the other 2 outcomes.
g. Once you have these 3 lists, you’ll notice your higher values.  You may also notice certain patterns.
h. Take some of the key words and values and -
- write letter as though from a close family member to be read out at your funeral
- letter from close friend – what impact did you have on them?
- letter from work colleague.  How did you positively affect those you worked with?

Now go back to the top four questions and adapt or amend your answers if necessary.
Go out and live them!
If you didn’t need to change them, you know yourself well!

By Sharon Juden, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist in Berkshire

Hypnotherapy and Losing Weight

Monday, March 30th, 2009
Is it time you took back control over your body?

Billy Connolly reportedly said that the answer to being overweight is to eat less and move more.
That’s all well and good, but we know that there’s often much more to it than that!

For a start there’s those cravings – for chocolate, crisps, biscuits etc etc.  And they just won’t go away.
Then there’s times when we feel really stressed or down and eating is the best way we know to make ourselves feel better.

All of this means that with the best will in the world and with as much determination as we can muster, we often face a losing battle when it comes to losing weight.

Will power and determination can only take you so far.  If, on a sub-conscious level, your thoughts and behaviours are programmed to seek comfort or solace in food, then those old habits will keep coming back until they’re replaced with new, healthy ones.

Hypnotherapy can do this easily and effortlessly.  Here’s what one client had to say about the results she experienced:

“For the first time in my life I am eating and thinking of food
in terms of a ‘normal’ person.  In three weeks I have lost 6 lbs, and  have lost all the cravings I used to have.  If I had known it was
this easy I would have done it years ago!”

By Sharon Juden, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist in Berkshire

True life story – Helping you think about your life

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

By Robert Frische – Bracknell News

AS a reporter, I’m trained to approach interviews with a healthy amount of scepticism, and it was no different when I was offered a life-coaching session.

Life-coaching started in America as help for athletes, who realised they could achieve more if they clearly defined their goals and removed any mental obstacles.

Sharon Juden MA (Hons) is an accredited life coach and holistic therapist and she offers life-coaching sessions from
the Natural Health Consultancy in Crowthorne.

Her reassuring and calming manner (combined with some extremely comfortable armchairs) set me at ease immediately and before I knew it I was spilling out my hopes and fears.

“We start by defining your values,” Sharon told me in her lilting Irish accent. “A lot of people end up feeling frustrated and unsatisfied with their lives.

“This is often because they don’t know what their values are, and they end up living with the values of other people, typically their parents.”
Sharon explained that when it comes to working out what my values are, it’s important not to think too much (which comes as a huge relief) and just go with my gut instinct.

So, even though I know it’s probably irresponsible to put having fun as my number one value, it goes right up there at the top of the list, just nudging out freedom and having good relationships with friends and family.

But it also turned out to be an analytical business this life-coaching, and I was soon attempting to answer a Cartesian Quadrant.
The easiest way to explain this is that it’s a set of questions which engage different sides of the brain. The right side of the brain is the creative side, while the left is more logical.

So in order to employ the logical side, and mine rarely gets any exercise, the questions were phrased in a way that made me think twice.

Example: – “What do you NOT have in your life at the moment that you are happy with?” Hmmm…I put debt and ill health for this one, once I had worked out what the question was asking.

The next phase was The Wheel of Life. This involves giving aspects of your life, such as your relationships and lifestyle, a mark out of 10.
If they are not a 10, then you work out what it is that you can do to reach the magic number. It sounds simple, but what this really does is help you to actually think about your life and focus on what you can do to make it better, rather than just taking the easy option of drifting along.

Rather than spoil any more of Sharon’s techniques, I wholeheartedly recommend paying her a visit at the consultancy in 188 Dukes Ride, Crowthorne.

By Sharon Juden, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist in Berkshire